Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Baby, Baby, Baby, Light My Way

"Arrogant, overfed and unconcerned." I heard the words spoken only once, but they have resonated for months. The one who said them believed it described American culture; I knew it described me.

I am arrogant in valuing myself more than others by protecting my own safety and possessions at others' expense, arrogant in my certainty of truth, and in many other ways. I am overfed on food, entertainment and stuff. I have extravagantly fed my basic human needs but my appetite only grows. I live unconcerned, at a safe distance from anything that disturbs my familiar patterns.

By some measures, I seem to do well in these areas. But I know my paradigm is so radically skewed that my "doing well" is still firmly arrogant, overfed and unconcerned. I'm an infant proud of my ability to raise my head off the ground.

I thought I could use the occasion of a New Year to gather some ideas and get some energy behind them and perhaps experience growth in these areas. My first thought is that I find it ineffective "not" to be something. I want to "be" not to "avoid." So what are the healthy alternatives to "arrogant, overfed and unconcerned"? It's not "ashamed, starving and obsessed." I believe the alternative to arrogant is humble; the alternative to overfed is content; the alternative to unconcerned is loving.

Humility, contentment and love - they are big ideas worthy of ambitious plans and they are also components of daily interactions. How can I move the trajectory of my life toward humility, contentment and love? Seems like it should start by living today humbly, contently and lovingly, with those that depend on me and those that are interdependent with me. It seems inevitable to me that it grows from there, and that actually loving others as my equal will impact how I care about their civil rights, human rights, starvation, illness, or imprisonment; how I understand or share their joy, sorrow or pride; how I count their lives and families as important to protect and nurture as mine.

If that's where, then how? I don't see a path, but I've got a sense of the direction. "If I want to live, I've got to die to myself someday." Sounds painful.

2 comments:

LLZ said...

Was meditaqting on these same thoughts a few days ago, wanting the dead of winter to effect some death in me. The death of my love of things, my sense of entitlement (to have pleasure, to be treated as I ought to be, to do the things I want)was what I thought of. I see it in my own life and all around me. Those desires lead to disappointment, unfulfilllment, and bitterness for the very reasons you mention....it would never be enough!!! My thoughts led me to long for the deepening of those things you brought up, mainly giving up me, me, me. Please share as much of this journey as you are able.

Niki Harris said...

Humility
Contentment
Love

Brilliant words DVD. Exactly the kind of outlook that a new year requires.