Several days ago the central air in my house quit working. At the same time, my car was inoperable for a week. It was a great opportunity for me to realize that I remain a slave to convenience. I had no trouble getting to work without my car, of course. But even with my alternative transportation chops, I still rely on my ability to step outside and get wherever I need to go, if I want. I ride the bus, sure, but I don't have to. Actually, my attitude about my car may have as much to do with control as convenience, so I'll move on.
Air conditioners in U.S. homes became widely available in the 50s, though it was much more recent that AC became as prominent as it is today. By 1978, 56% of houses in the U.S. had air conditioning of some kind. By 2001 that was up to 77%. Outside the U.S., the convenience of air conditioning is only enjoyed by a minority of the world population. But I depend on this energy-guzzling, greenhouse-gas-creating hunk of chilly goodness. How did the barbarians of the early 20th Century survive the midwest heat and humidity?!
Like a dishwasher, microwave or 50 more t-shirts than I need, I burn resources to make my life easier - not safer, just easier. This isn't some economic version of guilt tripping, just another realization that despite my increasing efforts to simplify and live lighter, I still have a long way to go.
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AC is making me a wimp. I've noticed over the last few years as I have been ever increasingly working behind a desk that the temperatures outside bother me more and more. It seems hotter than it used to. It wasn't that long ago that I would play 18 holes of golf on an August day in the middle of the day and not think anything of it. Now, good lord that would be hot.
I read a story recently on CNN about a 15 year old girl who changed her family's view on things. She was riding with her father when she say a person in a Mercedes giving some money to a homeless person. She said, that's great but imagine how many people they could have helped if they would have bought a cheaper car. That night the family had a meeting and decided to downsize their home. Their late 1800's mansion is now for sale for 1.2 Million (or something like that) and they are going to donate their profit (approximately 800K to charity). Everytime this comes up I always think I could do with less, but gosh darn it at the end of the day I want it.
I want to build the home of my dreams, and have a second home in NoLa. I want to have my own plane so I can get there when I want. I want to belong to the country club so I can play golf when I want. I want to go on the family vacation to someplace fun and exciting. I want the new laptop. I want to buy Laurie and Sophia things. I want to dress in new clothes. I want ... I want ... I want ...
Truth is I don't need any of it. The problem is what is the balance. I work hard and should get to experience some of the perks of that work. But with that success comes the responsibility (and the desire) to help out those that are less fortunate. We like to make fun of my extremism, but in issues like this it is almost debilitating. I want to become spartan in my living one moment to give all I can while still providing the essentials plus some small benefits for my family, then the next I couldn't care and think extravagantly, all the while doing neither and nickel and diming it all away on useless crap.
I am currently experiencing an a/c outage. Luckily it is only 82 outside. There has been a little whining about it, but not as much as it could have been.
I feel many of the same inner arguments as Erick. I have (as do all Americans, and most in developed countries) a desire for more. I have made an effort this year to keep and restore my old crap so I don't need new crap. I wish to live a spartan lifestyle. The only problem is, I have 2 little boys and a wife. The wife wants and I don't want to shortchange my boys. I have decided that it is best to make small sacrifices in the areas that are most important to you. I pay too much for groceries by shopping at the little store in town. I pay too much for coffee by making sure it is fair trade. I sweat occasionally in the house on hot days because we moved the thermostat up.
My biggest decision is, that I will decide when I need and want. I won't be told. We DVR everything so the boys don't have to watch commercials and I don't have listen to Jacob whining to go to mcd's every day. But THAT means we have a DVR. Noone is perfect. Very few are carbon neutral. And even fewer give a rat's ass. It is nice to know that I am not the only one who wishes he were less dependant on big business and more dependant on himself.
I'm glad you brought this up! This is something that is on my mind almost daily, sometimes more than others. Honestly, while I have a lot of thoughts, I would basically be repeating what Erick and Seth have already shared. So, I'll just say "ditto."
One of my flaws is that I tend to spend too much time focusing on others. I feel frustrated when I see large luxery SUV's and houses and "toys" that are grossly more than what a family of four needs. A part of my frustraion is, as hard as it is to admit, that sometimes I wish I could just "have" without the constant struggle of processing thru "needs" and "wants" and community and global standards, and trying to find the balance of MY needs and wants with the rest of the worlds needs. It seems that so many just ignore the struggle, and enjoy the pursuit of "wants".
I realize that I have much more than what a family of four needs as well, so I have no reason to "judge" others who do the same to a greater degree. And, I'm trying to be better at focusing on only what I can do, and hope my visible choices and conversation cause others to at least THINK about entering the struggle as well.
I guess I also care about what other people are doing because I know it's going to take more than just our three families to make a difference.
Sorry about your AC! Interestingly enough, my car broke down again this week. I've had it nearly 10 years and it has 127,000 miles on it. I could buy a new one if I wanted but I really don't want to do that. I just have to keep an eye on expenses and at this point I am far from justifying a new or nicely used car.
Thanks for the comments from all of you. Intense thinking on this topic. I heartily agree. Tough balance to make.
Kids make an interesting twist as well. I want to provide but not over provide. Truth is, kids don't know what they don't have and I want them to have more than they want. Outside influences certainly impact that as they get older, so I try to help them understand that many people do not have basic needs and many do not enjoy simple safety we take for granted (nothing scary, just awareness). Course, modeling is the best method so I try that too.
As I said, I agree the balance of giving and keeping is certainly tough. I have some planned reading that should be interesting. I'll keep you posted on that. The one thing I know for now is that any debt is an anchor to ANY plan. So that is my focus for now.
Ever since I started riding my bike to work, I've had the same sorts of thoughts. So David, your post is a very timely topic for me! Granted, we've been lucky to not have A/C or car problems, but the Needs v. Wants battle is a real one nonetheless.
I fall victim to the same flaw that Casey describes, but my issues stem from the viewpoint that "It's your world too"! Why anyone needs a brand-new Caddy Escalade or other gas-guzzler is beyond me. (I cringed when someone I know got a huge new SUV because "the deal was too good to pass up, and we wanted the new model"). I don't THINK there's any jealousy there, because why would anyone WANT a 10mpg car with a 40 gallon gas tank? $160 ever week or two? Not for me, thank you.
You may be able to tell that one of my struggles is "gettin' all up in someone else's biz". We're lucky to live in a country where we can ALL choose, and it's up to each person to determine what they can and can't do, or can and can't afford. Unfortunately, this is the same free market that tells us "more is better", so it's a catch-22.
This isn't to say that I'm without my own issues. I bought into that "more is better" mindset myself, a long time ago. Let me tell you, it's a TOUGH habit to break.
So now, the question becomes "what attitude and outlook do I want to pass on to Ava?". I would LIKE to pass on gratitude, contentment, thankfulness, and similar virtues, but it's difficult to exhibit those myself! (For instance, I have hobbies. Hobbies require stuff. I like stuff.)
I'm a work-in-progress, as we all are, and I just hope to do the best I can to teach my daughter.
I hope we keep this discussion going. It's awesome.
So sorry that I did not have time to look at this earlier and join in the discussion. A word came up for me a while back that I have been trying to incorporate into my thinking and into my behavior...and into my cravings! It was in the business section of the local paper, in an article discussing how many Americans are going to be facing an abrupt end to their ability to acquire more and more. They wondered if any would be able to acquire an attitude of "enoughness", a realization that they already had "enough" to more than meet their needs.
Being old enough to have gone through several cycles of "little, then plenty", I have experienced times of living very frugally, where being sure to scrape the entire contents of a jar or can seemed the only right thing to do, and meals, wardrobes, and entertainment were planned down to the last dime. The only sensible plan to deal with car problems was to buy that "$500 beater" for the going back and forth to work car. And air-conditioning consisted of a few fans, if lucky, or it was non-existent!
I have also experienced times of prosperity when spending was loose, and it was ok because "there would always be more where that came from". A fallacy, to be sure, but new car payments didn't appear to be a worry, my favorite brand of everything was a given, and a vacation was definitely an entitlement. A/C was used so liberally, as a few of you may remember, that my house became known affectionately to some as "the meatlocker"!
In the last few years, since my marriage to Russ, I have entered into a deep struggle with the issue of "enoughness". I must admit to having fallen into the trap of our recent culture of feeling "entitled" to my share of the pie. After all, I AM getting older, I have worked hard all my life, I DESERVE to have the things that all those other people are getting. So what if my house is "perfectly good", my car adequate, and McDonald's is my most frequently visited eatery?! I WANT a bigger house! a nicer car! an unlimited entertainment allowance!
Russ is a person who lived through times as a child when having enough food to not be hungry was not a certainty. There was nothing certain about finances except that you would be in a struggle to exist. As an adult he rose to management in his career, providing his family with a nice home, college educations, and interesting and educational vacations. Yet, he did these things carefully, always imparting an awareness of the value and cost of these things, and always saving and "making do" with things by repairing them, choosing to do without, or waiting for things until the fad had died down some and so had the price. He also made a point of busying himself with helping others with his time and service.
So frivolous meets frugality!!! That is Russ and me! It has been a process of continuing growth for the Lord to show me through Russ's love for me, how someone can be a generous provider AND frugal!
I can't tell you how awed and proud I am of all of you, that you see it, feel it amid all the noisy clamor to the contrary. Recently, I read an essay by Ralph Waldo Emerson titled "Trancendentalism". He discussed a concern of the times over this then-emerging philosophy, asserting that it was no more than the timeless "idealism vs materialism" struggle that has been, and always will be, present in mankind. He extolled the heart of the "idealist" who MUST question the "factual" reasoning of the materialist with a "higher", more spiritual experience. I sense that "higher", idealistic questioning at the heart of this discussion you have had and are having. It fills me with hope. Lovingly, Your Aunt LLZ
Thanks for the encouragement! And thanks for sharing your experiences. At times I feel naïve in my expectations of myself but I like the characterization as idealism. Ayn Rand said, “You must have total self-esteem. Leave your self-doubts behind when you sit down to write.” It feels vulnerable, but I agree that it leads to better questions and hopefully better answers.
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